Infinite Loop Read online

  Synopsis

  Regan O’Riley has just about given up hope that she will ever find a woman into shy, geeky programmers. She yearns for a connection, but can’t seem to make the first move. Mel Raines knows all about making moves. After a childhood under the thumb of her alcoholic father, she avoids intimacy by drowning herself in fiery, fleeting encounters with strangers.

  When Regan and Mel meet in a straight bar, of all places, their chemistry is unmistakable. Before they can begin to explore their new relationship, Mel’s world is rocked when a close friend is a victim in a shooting. Regan suggests they take a road trip to escape reality for a little while, and Mel is only too ready to shake things up. Together they embark upon a physical and emotional journey where they discover that breaking free of old habits may be the only way to change your life.

  Infinite Loop

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  INFINITE LOOP

  by

  Meghan O’Brien

  By the Author

  The Three (BSB Aeros eBook)

  Thirteen Hours

  Battle Scars

  Infinite Loop

  © 2005 by Meghan O’Brien. All Rights Reserved.

  ISBN 13: 978-1-60282-282-5

  This electronic book is published by:

  Bold Strokes Books, Inc.,

  New York, USA

  First Bold Strokes Books eBook Edition May 2010

  This is a work of fiction. names, characters, places, and Incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.

  Credits

  Editor: Victoria Oldham

  Cover Design By Bold Strokes Books Graphics

  Chapter One

  “I hate goddamn straight bars.” Regan took a swig of her beer and glowered at a frat-boy type walking by their table hand-in-hand with a vapid-looking girl.

  From the proliferation of pool tables and dartboards in the lung-burningly smoky bar, and nary an arcade game in sight, Regan knew that she wasn’t amongst her own kind. She sensed her companions’ sighs before she heard them.

  “Yes, Regan,” Dan said, raising his beer and his eyes to the ceiling. “We’re perfectly aware of your aversion to heterosexual mating grounds. Now be quiet.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate the sympathy.”

  Dan grinned at her, and Regan couldn’t help but smile back at the warmth in his eyes. “I tease because I love,” he said.

  Adam leaned across the table. “In a minute I’m gonna tease ’cause I’m annoyed.” He turned to Dan and gave him a serious look. “Didn’t I tell you that this place was going to offend her tender lesbian sensibilities?”

  Dan stroked his chin, nodding thoughtfully. “Right you were, too. And you know how I hate to offend anything that’s tender and lesbian.”

  Regan shot a self-deprecating smile at her friends. “I thought I should at least pretend to have a social life that doesn’t involve video games or the Internet.” She tugged self-consciously on her Atari T-shirt. “I guess I should have worn something trendier. I know I’m a fashion plate at the office, but the geek thing doesn’t play well in dyke bars, let alone in this Abercrombie and Fitch ad.”

  Adam scanned the crowded bar over Regan’s shoulder, then raised his eyebrows at something she couldn’t see. “Oh, I’m not sure you’d have a problem getting laid, if you were so inclined.”

  Regan tried to resist the urge to look behind her, but failed. An attractive blond-haired man stood at the bar, staring at her. When he saw that she was returning his gaze, he grinned and gestured slightly with his drink. Regan frowned and turned back around to face her co-workers, who didn’t bother to hide their amusement.

  “Oh, please.” She drained the rest of her beer.

  Adam looked across her shoulder to offer her rejected suitor a sympathetic shrug.

  “I think you just broke his heart.” He stood up on unsteady legs. “Want another beer?”

  “Might as well.” Regan’s eyes followed him as he lumbered toward the bar, cutting an easy path through the crowd thanks to height and bulk. She sighed and looked around. Yeah, she was out of place all right.

  The bar was filled with people, the men cocky and flirtatious and of no interest whatsoever to her. The women were impeccably dressed and made up, far more feminine and eager than she. She gazed at a giggling group of them, seated at a nearby table, and felt like Jane Goodall observing chimpanzee behavior.

  How do they do that? she wondered, taking in the tiny shirts, the skin-tight jeans, and the craftsmanship of perfectly coiffed hair and made-up faces. Jesus, being straight would kill me in a week, tops. She ran a hand through her short auburn hair, and adjusted her wire-rimmed glasses. Thanks, ladies, but I’ll stick to the baggy jeans and ringer T-shirts.

  An awed “Wow” from Dan intruded on her reverie, and Regan followed his lustful stare into the crowd. She nearly laughed aloud when the dancing bodies parted as if by scripted command, and a powerful dark-haired woman in a form-fitting black T-shirt and blue jeans stepped into the breach.

  This is the part where the music fades away, time slows down, and we ogle the most beautiful woman we’ve ever seen, Regan mused, then she stared at the stranger and her internal cynic fell silent. Holy shit, she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

  Something about her made the other women in the bar pale by comparison. Maybe it was her eyes; Regan wondered how it would feel to be the focus of their intensity and tried to see what color they were—blue, and I’m hers forever. Maybe it was her mouth. She had a confident grin just shy of lopsided, and it caused her face to fall a bit short of perfect, but endeared her to Regan in an instant. Her stride was self-assured, feline, almost predatory, and for a crazy moment Regan felt as if she were the intended prey. Her very willing prey. Who am I kidding? I’d be hers forever no matter what color her eyes are.

  A half-remembered line of poetry flitted through her brain. Ah me! I cannot sleep at night. She shook her head at the errant thought. Had the sight of a woman—however gorgeous—ever inspired poetry in her before? She was a programmer, damn it, and not given to starry-eyed flights of fancy. With a pained groan, she picked at the label on her empty beer bottle. I really need to get out more.

  Moments away from embarking upon a spontaneous—and no doubt deeply satisfying—sexual fantasy about the alluring stranger, Regan released a strangled gasp and lowered her eyes to the table. No fucking way. Oh, sweet God, is she coming over here? She kicked Dan sharply under the table.

  “Jesus.” He tore his lustful eyes away from the vision, fixing them grumpily on his companion. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  Regan scowled. Perfect. Just perfect. Not only am I stuck at a straight bar, but now I get to watch Dan get picked up by my living, breathing dream girl, and all because he has a Y chromosome. She squirmed in discomfort, woefully aware that her raging libido would not be sated tonight. Or rather, I’ll be playing to an audience of one. Again.

  Dan’s face lit up with what Regan assumed was supposed to be a charming smile, and he raised an eyebrow in cocky greeting, more poised and self-assured than any code monkey in a “W00t!” T-shirt had a right to be. Regan envied his easy confidence, and wished she could steal some for herself. She was already sweating at the sight of the sexy woman.

  “Hey.�
� The woman’s deep voice carried easily over the pounding music that filled the bar. She ran a casual hand through dark hair that reached just below her ears, mussing it slightly. Her gaze moved from Dan to Regan, and the corner of her mouth lifted in patient amusement.

  Regan’s heart thumped madly in her chest. She raised her eyes to offer a timid nod and immediately wondered, Where’s that beer I ordered? The woman’s steady gaze drew hers. gray, she confirmed. Blue. gray. What the hell’s the difference, anyway? Their eyes locked and for a moment Regan forgot that she was in a straight bar. A feeling of connection, heat, and pure desire engulfed her. It was so intense and overwhelming that she imagined the other woman had to feel it as well. Yeah, you wish.

  “Hey, yourself,” she said, hoping she sounded confident. So far, so good. Just keep breathing and don’t act like an idiot. She’s incredible, yes, but straight. No reason to be nervous.

  “How’re you doing?” Dan piped up.

  Regan gave him a dirty look. Eye contact, man, and you ruined it.

  “I’m okay.” After a moment of hesitation, the heart-stopping woman added, “Actually, I’m hoping to be a little better.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Dan gave her a flirtatious wink.

  Regan failed to suppress a snort of amused disgust. She fiddled with her empty beer bottle and wished again that Adam would return with her refill. She spotted his head above the crowd of people. He had a shit-eating grin on his face and, predictably, a petite blonde smiling up at him. Bastard! If I ever needed a beer, it’s right now. She scuffed the toe of her boot against the floor and winced when she kicked the table accidentally.

  “Look, I don’t know the situation here and I apologize if I’m out of line—” The woman broke off, casting a glance over her shoulder into the crowd. It struck Regan then that she seemed a little nervous.

  “We’re not together,” Dan said.

  Regan snorted a little. I’ll say. To her shock, those incredible gray eyes eagerly sought her confirmation. She mumbled something to the affirmative and the woman gave her a warm—actually, almost hot—look.

  “Oh, great. In that case,” she asked Regan, “do you want to dance?”

  Under different circumstances, Dan’s slack-jawed expression would have sent Regan into a fit of uncontrollable guffaws. As it was, she could only manage to open and close her mouth in mute surprise.

  The dark-haired woman seemed momentarily diminished somehow by nervousness, jamming her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “If I’m out of line, or if I’ve offended you, I’m sorry. I don’t normally approach women in straight bars. I mean, I don’t normally even come to straight bars. But my friends,” she gestured to a table somewhere behind the throng of dancing people, “asked me to come with them and I’ve been feeling a little miserable all night. I noticed you and thought that maybe you also looked a little miserable…and definitely very cute. And so I thought I’d come see if maybe you were in a similar situation. I apologize if—”

  Pull yourself together before she apologizes her way right back across the bar! Regan squeezed her hands into fists, working up her nerve. “You didn’t, uh…you’re not out of line.”

  “No?”

  Hell, no. Regan offered her a smile. “As a matter of fact, you’re right. I think we are in the same situation.”

  With a glance at Dan’s bemused face, the woman offered Regan a tanned hand. “I’m Mel, by the way,” she shouted over the music.

  Regan wiped her sweaty palm on the leg of her jeans and took Mel’s hand, making sure to give a confident squeeze in greeting. “Regan.”

  Mel promptly pulled her to her feet and Regan found herself nearly face-to-face with her unexpected dance partner. She wobbled a little on her feet, nervous and tipsy and already painfully aroused. A strong hand reached out to steady her.

  “So, Regan,” Mel leaned forward to speak in her ear. “Shall we?”

  Regan cast an anxious look around the crowded bar. “You don’t get embarrassed easily, do you?”

  “Me?” Mel laughed out loud. “No. Listen, if anyone’s got a problem with two women dancing—”

  “No,” Regan shook her head. “What I mean is, I’m not exactly light on my feet.”

  “Ah.” Mel gave her hand a squeeze. “No worries. I’ll lead.”

  Regan’s heart was pounding. No matter how many times she’d wished and prayed for just this kind of scenario, she was scared to death now that it was happening. She was also thrilled beyond words. As Mel pulled her toward the dance floor, she glanced over her shoulder at Dan and grinned at his playful glare.

  Mel led them to an open spot on the dance floor, amidst the crowd of warm, moving bodies. She turned around without releasing Regan’s hand. After a moment of silent appraisal, she nodded at Regan’s shirt and said, “Are you really an Atari fan?”

  “Yeah,” Regan answered. Are we actually talking about antique game consoles now? Could this night get any more surreal? “I actually have a 400 that I still play.”

  She blushed the moment the words left her mouth. Smooth, she scolded herself. Not two minutes into this and you’ve exposed yourself as nothing more than a pathetic geek. She waited for a familiar look of condescension from Mel, and was shocked when she received a sultry smile instead.

  “I remember playing Shamus as a kid. That was an awesome game.”

  Oh, my God, Regan thought, I’ve found her. She’s the one.

  A fast-paced song began pumping through the bar’s sound system, rousing the people around them into enthusiastic motion. Regan broke out of her stupor at the realization that they were the only two people not dancing. Mel saved her from the awkward job of finding a rhythm. Snaking a muscled arm around Regan’s waist, she pulled her close, moving them together with the beat of the music.

  At first Regan felt stiff, almost robotic, and then she closed her eyes and concentrated on letting her body go. Soon she began to feel the effects of her drinks, as well as the effect of the supple, feminine body pressed against her own, and she relaxed. She didn’t feel the self-consciousness dancing usually elicited; she lost awareness of the many people moving around them. All she was aware of were Mel’s hands on her waist, and on her stomach; Mel’s hips pressing into her bottom; Mel’s eyes, hungry and intense. If they had captured anyone’s attention, Regan was totally oblivious to it, lost in a world of sound and sensation. Time lacked meaning, and her body transitioned from one beat to another as if by instinct.

  She only came back to herself when she realized how tired she was becoming. And how wet. She ran her hands down Mel’s back in awed reverence. If I don’t find something to lean against, I’m going to fall down. When the song ended a few moments later, she leaned into Mel and said, “I think I need to sit down. Can I buy you a drink?”

  Mel gave her a slow smile and moved forward to press the whole length of her body against Regan’s. “A drink sounds great,” she said.

  Regan shivered at the feeling of full breasts pressed against her own. It was the most action she’d gotten in two years. She felt dangerously short of breath, unable to speak. At a loss, she headed for the bar, her hand entwined with Mel’s. Please, God, she begged, let me seem interesting and sane enough to spend some time with her. Quality time. Amen.

  At the bar they waited in silence for their drinks. Trying to converse so close to the dance floor seemed like more effort than it was worth. Mel was having a Coke because she was driving. Regan had ordered a Long Island Iced Tea, hoping to soothe her nerves. It was time to pull out the big guns and get nice and relaxed, she decided, glancing surreptitiously at the dark-haired woman. With any luck at all, she’ll be my designated driver, anyway.

  “I think there’s a room in the back where we might actually be able to hear each other,” she yelled.

  “Lead the way,” Mel answered, picking up her Coke. She caught the straw between lush, full lips, and took a slow swallow of her drink.

  The erotic display was even more jarring than the roller coast
ers Regan had long ago sworn off, and her stomach flip-flopped in response. She needed to think of some way to appear cool and calm and irresistibly sexy, and fast. Smiling and nodding was going to get old quickly.

  The small poolroom in the back of the bar was moderately quieter than the dance floor, and they managed to find a table in the corner. Mel set her glass down and gave Regan an easy smile. “So what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”

  Regan laughed, grateful that her beautiful companion had taken the lead. “Straight co-workers. They wanted to come here, and for some odd reason I was the only one who wanted to be surrounded by dykes instead. Majority rules, I guess.”

  “Not a bar person?”

  “Not usually. I don’t think I do very well in the bar environment. Honestly, I feel a little…out of place in these situations.”

  “You’re doing just fine right now,” Mel said. “In fact, you’re the most compelling reason I’ve ever seen to hang out at a straight bar.” She cocked an eyebrow playfully.

  Regan felt herself drawing from some deeply buried wellspring of confidence, inspired by this woman’s interest. “Oh, I bet you say that to all the girls you pick up in straight bars.”

  Mel reached across the table to take Regan’s smaller hand in her own. “Only the ones I find absolutely adorable.”

  Regan grinned then, feeling most of her tension melt away under warm eyes and even warmer skin. She interlaced her fingers with Mel’s and squeezed.

  “So those guys were your co-workers.” Mel rubbed her thumb over Regan’s knuckle. “What do you do?”

  “I’m a software developer. The computer-nerd garb isn’t just a fashion statement.”

  “Wow,” Mel blinked, and Regan was surprised to see admiration in her eyes. “I’m impressed. I took a first-level programming course in college, but it never really clicked for me. I’m always amazed by people who can understand that stuff.”