Infinite Loop Read online

  Clearly, he was not asking about Marlboros. Mel hadn’t indulged since joining the force, but she had nothing against it. She gave Regan a sidelong glance, checking her reaction.

  “I haven’t smoked since college,” Regan said. “My first girlfriend was a total pothead, but I never really did it after we broke up.”

  “I’m up for it if you are,” Mel said, thinking maybe it would help her shy lover relax.

  Regan gave her a mischievous smile. “Why not?”

  The group settled in to sit around the fire. Mel grabbed a spot next to Regan, and Ethan was quick to claim the seat on the other side. Claire sat beside Mel, rolling her eyes at her horny friend as she struggled to light a joint she produced from her pocket.

  “So where are you guys from?” Jay asked.

  “Michigan,” Mel said. “Detroit.”

  “Yeah? And what do you do in Detroit?”

  Claire finally managed to light the joint and took a long drag before offering it to Mel, who looked at it and then Jay with an innocent smile.

  “Cop.” She smirked at the sudden panic in Jay and Claire’s eyes, then snagged the joint to take a calm hit. “But I’m considering a career change.” Mel passed Regan the joint, unable to stop her smile when their eyes met.

  “How about you, Regan?” Ethan stared at her with unabashed admiration.

  Regan’s cheeks flushed as she took a long drag and exhaled an impressive cloud of bluish smoke. “I’m a software developer.” She was quick to pass the joint to Ethan.

  “That’s awesome,” Ethan said, and gave her an enthusiastic smile. “I work as a computer tech. I swear I hardly ever meet fellow geeks.” He cocked an eyebrow at Regan. “And never one so beautiful.”

  Sensing Regan’s discomfort, Mel wrapped her arm around her waist and gave her a squeeze. “She’s a gamer, too. A pretty good one, if I’m not mistaken.”

  “Yeah?” Ethan cocked his head in sudden, intense interest. “What games do you like?”

  It worked like a charm. Regan relaxed beneath her arm as she and Ethan launched into a discussion about computers and video games that went right over Mel’s head. She couldn’t blame Ethan for flirting, but she was pretty sure Regan would have passed out had she not diverted the conversation to a safer topic.

  Mel leaned back and relaxed, occasionally contributing to the conversations around her as she continued to pass the joint around the campfire. Mostly she paid attention to Regan; the way she held herself, or breathed, or a shift in her tone of voice. She thought that she could probably watch her for hours and never get bored. She held Regan’s hand as everyone talked and soaked in the pleasure she felt at her lover’s every smile, every laugh, and at the glow in warm green eyes.

  As one joint somehow became two, Mel noticed that Regan was getting nice and high. Even Ethan’s blatant come-ons made her giggle and smile. Mel smiled, too, pleased that he was making Regan feel good. Being jealous never even crossed her mind. As the campfire talk grew increasingly bawdy, Regan seemed to forget her previous nerves completely. She leaned forward and laughed hard as the conversation turned to masturbation.

  “Oh, please, Jay,” Gina said with a snort. “I think your hand has taken up permanent residence in your pants.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with loving one’s self,” Jay looked around the circle for support, and Mel guffawed when an enthusiastic Regan nodded in agreement. “Besides,” Jay gave Claire a lewd wink, “practice makes perfect. Right, baby?”

  “If that’s true,” Regan said, before Claire had a chance to answer, “I must be fucking amazing at this point.”

  Jay clapped her hands and laughed in delight at Regan’s admission, and Mel raised an eyebrow in her lover’s direction. Yeah, she was stoned.

  “That’s a correct statement,” Mel said.

  “Really?” Ethan gazed at Mel with beseeching eyes. “Can she keep me?”

  Claire sighed in mock exasperation. “Why is it that any given group of adults, if left to their own devices, inevitably talks about nothing but sex?”

  “Because it’s the one thing any given group of adults has in common with one another,” Ethan said. “And it’s the only thing on my mind tonight.”

  “As opposed to any other night, when you’re pondering the meaning of life and human nature,” Gina said.

  “And on that enlightened note,” Jay got to her feet, “who’s up for a midnight swim?”

  “Ooh, I could go for a little skinny-dipping right now.” Gina grinned at Claire, who nodded her agreement. “Ethan?”

  “Sure.” He looked over at Regan with an innocent smile. “Make me the luckiest boy in the world and say you’ll come, Regan.”

  “Am I invisible here?” Mel asked.

  “Oh, you’re more than welcome, too,” Ethan said.

  “Gee, thanks.” Mel gave Regan a gentle nudge and searched her face with cautious eyes. She didn’t want to put her on the spot, but she needed to know what Regan wanted to do. Swimming naked couldn’t possibly be the easiest prospect for someone as shy as her lover.

  Regan gave a nervous little cough and nodded at Mel in acknowledgement. “Skinny-dipping, huh? Do you people get innocent girls high on purpose in an effort to lower their inhibitions?”

  “No, but that’s a good idea.” Gina stood and stretched. “I’m going to get my towel.”

  Regan grabbed Mel’s hand to pull her up. “Come on. Let’s go get ours.”

  Mel studied Regan as they walked back to their tent. She held Regan’s delicate hand in her own, marveling at the way her porcelain skin glowed in the gentle moonlight, almost as if it emanated from within her. She looked ethereal, Mel thought dreamily, almost too beautiful for this world. The day caught up to her as they approached their campsite, and Mel couldn’t keep her feelings inside. She pulled Regan into an impromptu embrace.

  “You’re beautiful,” Mel whispered. She snorted laughter when she realized how stoned she was, and how it was loosening her tongue. “No, but I mean…you’re really beautiful.”

  Regan whimpered, then giggled, and leaned up to share in a slow, easy kiss. “You’re stoned,” she accused when Mel eventually pulled back.

  “Maybe. But that doesn’t make it any less true.” She took Regan’s hand and led them closer to their tent. “Are you okay with this swimming thing? Because, you know, we don’t have to—”

  “I’ve been having such a good time and I don’t want it to end. So I’m trying not to get too nervous about the idea of shedding my clothes in front of a bunch of strangers.”

  “Especially when one of them has been flirting with you all night?”

  Regan tugged on her earlobe and cast a shy smile down at the ground. “You noticed, huh?”

  Mel laughed. “Noticed? Jesus, baby, I thought he was going to hurt himself, trying that hard.”

  “It didn’t bother you, right? Ethan?”

  “If someone wants to let you know how attractive you are, as long as it’s not bothering you, it’s not bothering me. You should hear it as often as possible. You’re the loveliest woman I’ve ever seen.”

  “No one has ever made me feel that way before,” Regan said. “I’m still getting used to it.”

  Mel was prepared to spend every waking moment convincing her. “You have no reason to worry about skinny-dipping. Unless the thought of making everyone drool over you is somehow scary, I mean.”

  Regan snorted.

  Sensing that she wasn’t convinced, Mel kept going. “Honestly. You happen to have what is, in my opinion, the sexiest kind of body a woman can have.”

  “The sedentary lifestyle kind?”

  “I was thinking more along the lines of soft, curvy, warm—”

  “Sweet talker,” Regan said, but she was smiling. Mission accomplished.

  They stopped at the truck and Regan spent long moments in a desperate search for her keys. “C’mon, keys…conspiring against me to make me look like a bumbling idiot in front of this hot babe. Where the hell
—” She suddenly pulled them from her pocket and proudly held them aloft in the air. “See? I am smooth, after all.”

  “Why, Regan O’Riley, you get positively goofy when you smoke pot,” Mel said, and gave her bottom a light pinch. “I like it.”

  “I like you stoned, too,” Regan said, extracting their towels. “In fact, I like you any way I can have you.”

  “Come on,” Mel said, grinning. “Let’s go get wet.”

  *

  Regan woke up the next morning with a lazy smile already plastered on her face. She felt secure, cradled in muscular arms, and she murmured in pleasure at the feeling of bare skin pressed against her own. She stretched a little within Mel’s unconscious embrace, feeling a slight soreness in her body. She wasn’t used to skinny-dipping, sleeping on the hard ground, and having sex on a regular basis, and her body was making that known.

  Not that she was complaining.

  Mel’s arms tightened around her and Regan burrowed more deeply into their shared sleeping bag and the warm hug. After a moment, she felt a soft kiss pressed to one shoulder blade.

  “Are you awake, sweet girl?”

  Regan smiled at the quiet whisper and opened her eyes. Bright blue sunlight filtered through their tent. “Yeah. Just enjoying the nature.”

  “Nature, huh? Like this rock that’s been under my ass all night?” Mel nibbled along Regan’s shoulder and neck.

  Regan turned to face Mel, grinning at her lover. Peaceful gray eyes stared back at her, conveying the same easy affection that Mel’s body did. Mel changed position so their entire lengths were touching.

  “Last night was wonderful,” Regan said. “Every part of it. I guess camping is a happy memory for me, too, now.”

  Mel beamed at her, leaning down to kiss her eyebrow. “See?”

  “You were right,” Regan conceded.

  “Just remember that. For future reference, I mean.”

  Regan gave Mel a playful scowl. “Don’t push it.”

  Mel tickled the small of Regan’s back. “So what’s the plan for today?” she asked.

  Regan considered her mental itinerary. “Oklahoma,” she ticked off. She hesitated, unsure of how Mel might react to what she was about to suggest. “We could make some stops there, if you like, or we could try and just drive straight through to Texas tonight.”

  Mel’s body stiffened. She broke their eye contact, staring at Regan’s shoulder with a stormy gaze. “Stop there for what?”

  Okay, so she doesn’t want to see any family or friends. Regan cleared her throat. Goddamn Oklahoma for lying between Missouri and Texas, anyway. “I was just saying that we have plenty of time if you did want to stop for any reason, but I’m more than willing to try and drive straight through. It’ll be a lot of driving, but that’s okay.”

  “Fine.” Mel gave Regan a polite smile. A distant smile. Her gray eyes were impassive. “We’d better get moving, then, if we’ve got all that driving to do.”

  *

  “You look like you have something on your mind,” Regan said. It was an hour after they’d left the campground and they were fast approaching Oklahoma. She was behind the wheel for the first driving shift.

  Mel tore her eyes away from the window and stared at her for a moment before dissolving into an embarrassed smile. “I’m sorry. I’ve been kinda quiet, huh?”

  “Kinda.” Regan tightened her hands on the steering wheel.

  Mel leaned over closer to Regan’s body, reaching out and touching her thigh. “I don’t mean to be distant.”

  Regan shot her a careful grin. “I don’t mean to be a pest.”

  “You’re not a pest. I’m just not used to having someone want to know how I’m doing. And wanting to tell someone how I’m doing.”

  “You’re getting so good at it, though,” Regan murmured.

  Mel was silent for a moment, then said, “I was thinking that maybe I should try and see my brother Mike. I haven’t been back to Oklahoma since I left for college, so I haven’t seen him for about seven years.”

  Regan made a low whistle at that.

  “I know. And we didn’t part on the best of terms.”

  Regan furrowed her eyebrows, doing some quick mental math. “How old is he?”

  “He’ll be twenty-one now.” Sorrow entered Mel’s tone. “He was fourteen when I last saw him.”

  “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

  Mel released a mighty sigh. “My father kicked me out of the house when I was seventeen,” she said. “Not only did he cast me out, but he turned Mike against me. Christ, I thought the kid hated me until he called me when he was eighteen, after he moved out of dad’s house. We’ve spoken a few times since then, but I haven’t actually seen him.”

  Regan could feel Mel’s gaze burning through her cheek. It made her squirm in her seat. “I’m sorry,” she said, hoping Mel would continue.

  “I never really blamed Mike. When my dad freaked out about my being gay, Mike was just a kid. He wasn’t strong enough to think for himself. All he knew was that if he called me a dyke, too, then suddenly dad wasn’t focusing on him anymore.”

  Regan’s jaw tensed. “Your dad kicked you out for being a lesbian?”

  “More or less,” Mel said in a quiet voice. “Anyway, that’s all in the past. Hell, we even talk on the phone at this point, you know, on holidays and stuff.”

  “I bet those are great conversations,” Regan muttered. She felt her mood darkening to match Mel’s. That fucking bastard has caused her so much pain.

  Mel gave her a humorless chuckle. “We’ll never be friends.” Shrugging, she lifted her hand from Regan’s to affect a dismissive wave. “It’s not a big deal. I’m used to it. But I don’t think Mike’s doing very well. The phone number I had for him was disconnected six months ago. I’m not sure why, exactly, but I’m really worried about him.”

  “Because his number was disconnected, or is there something else?”

  “It’s just a feeling.”

  “Then we’ll find him,” Regan said. “And maybe you can knock some sense into him.”

  Mel grunted in agreement. “What are big sisters for?”

  “I always wished for a brother or sister. That’s a special thing to have, a sibling.”

  “I wish I could find a number for him.” Mel said. “I’ve called information.”

  “Do you know any of his friends?”

  “No.” Mel sniffed, then said, “I think I may have to call my father.”

  Regan said nothing, but reached over to touch Mel’s knee. Sounds like a good reason for a bad mood.

  “I don’t want to call my father.” Mel shot Regan a petulant look. “Not right now.”

  “You have a lot going on. I don’t blame you.”

  “But I think maybe I’m supposed to do this. See Mike, I mean. I never planned on going back home…”

  “I think it’s a good idea,” Regan said. “And if you want…I mean, if it’d make you feel better—”

  “I want you with me.” Mel clasped Regan’s hand. “Please come with me.”

  “Of course,” she said. “Of course, baby.”

  There was nothing in the world she wanted more.

  Chapter Ten

  “Dad?” Mel’s voice shook and that pissed her off. She turned away from Regan’s casual gaze to look out the truck window.

  “Laney?” His voice was slurred. Mel darted her eyes over to the clock that glowed on the truck’s dashboard. It was the middle of the afternoon. “Is that you, Laney?”

  Mel sighed. “Yeah, Dad, it’s me.”

  “Laney!” her father cried. “Well, how the hell are ya?”

  Mel blinked at the unexpected joviality. “I’m okay. Listen, I was wondering if you knew—”

  “How’s the beat?” he asked. “They keeping you busy up there in Detroit?”

  Mel’s mouth opened a bit and she struggled to clear her dry throat. “Uh, yeah, Dad. It’s all right.”

  “I gotta tell you, I don’t en
vy you working in the fucking slums.” Her father raised his voice slightly, which only emphasized the unevenness of his words. “Fuckin’ trash, living up there in Detroit.” Mel heard him take a drink of something. “Course it’s no better in Lawton anymore. I tell you that a family of goddamn Arabs moved in down the street?”

  Mel stifled a deep sigh. “Detroit’s fine, Dad. I’ve met a lot of really wonderful people.” One of whom is going crazy sitting next to me right now, knowing how much I hate talking to you.

  “Take the detective test yet?” The question was loud and brash, and it made Mel cringe.

  Her father was the last person she wanted to tell about her recent disillusionment. He would never understand. “Not yet,” she answered after a beat.

  “Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Goddamn it, Laney, you never did take the initiative on these things. You worried you won’t pass?”

  “No, Dad, I’m not worried. Listen, I actually called for a reason. I was wondering if you have Mike’s new phone number.”

  “Christ, and don’t even get me started on that little bastard,” her father muttered. “I tell you he’s shacked up with some woman now? Doesn’t even have a goddamn job.”

  Mel’s heart beat a little faster in her chest. He knew where Mikey was; the phone call was worth something. “Do you have a phone number for him?” she asked again.

  “Nah. I don’t think he’s got a phone in his name, and he never gave me that woman’s number.”

  Stinging tears burned her eyes, and she turned to look out the truck window at the passing landscape. “I’ve just got an address,” her father continued. “I wish I did have his number so you could call him and give him a kick in his worthless ass. He’s stopped coming around; I haven’t seen him for months. And I’ve been sick, Laney. I’ve been real sick.”

  Mel blinked at the last statement before focusing on the first. “You have an address?” she asked. “Can you give me that?”

  “What the hell good is that gonna do you?” He coughed then, a harsh, hacking sound. “It’s not like you ever come around, either. Too busy up there in Detroit playing street cop and doing God knows what else.”